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Chapter II   JPEG or SUSHI

I was not going to do it. I was going to follow the original format and give you the last 18 months in Disaster Order. Well if George Lucas can do it so can I. You will get the middle sometime after the beginning and the end, maybe.

Have you ever wondered what happens when you move that little arrow to the “Send” icon and click the little mouse thing. Does the person that receives (if would be more accurate) the item get what you actually sent?  I mean how do you know that it looks the same at their end?

I,  for a fact,  know that what you see probably is not what I sent you, because I tried to send one to myself and could not receive it because the “SUSHI” file was to damn big. Do you see where I am going with this? I have a NIKON D-70 and it takes great pictures of RAW fish (sushi), and I like to eat RAW fish (sushi). Now if you try to take a picture of your RAW fish in the RAW format of your digital camera neither the fish nor the picture will be done. Now the fish is not supposed to be done because it is “SUSHI”. But since we don’t send our digital pictures out to be processed they should be done when you take them out of your camera and put them in your computer, provided your computer has a better memory than I do. You remember last month’s column? Good, I don’t. Now where was I going with this” CAROOOLL”?  OK , you have a file that is MOBY DICK  in size, now that is one big plate of sushi.  And now you have to finish it yourself on the computer that the camera sales guy forgot to tell you needs to be the size of  a Super Cray that runs the subway system in New York City. I know you want to know what this has to do with JPEG, OK I will tell you. You see back in the 50’s and 60’s and even in the 70’s the Japanese made movies about big animals that attacked Tokyo. They did this because “King Kong” was hanging around the Empire State building. Not to be out done they came up with GODZILLA who was a little smaller than King Kong but got better gas mileage so people went to the movies to see him. In the end the Japanese Police were able to arrest Godzilla and put him in jail. After he was convicted of his crimes against humanity and patent right infringements he was sentenced to death. The headlines on the front page of the TOKYO TIMES DEMOCRAT the following day read--- “Japanese Police Execute Godzilla”.  So you see not only did the Japanese invent SUSHI (raw fish) they also invented JPEG, which has nothing to do with fish.

You know, I just had a thought, maybe SASHIMI is RAW fish and SUSHI has rice and seaweed. Don’t even think about researching it on your computer. I am going to get up and go look in the Webster’s Dictionary. OK my 1993 Webster’s is making me think I should start all over again. Are you crazy? I type this column with the 2 finger hunt and peck method, I am not going back up there just to add rice to the recipe, besides they are both RAW.

 Man this was supposed to be about my disaster with the Doc while trying to send digital files of wild life taken around my house. You see I tried to shoot  RAW files and edit them into masterpieces and send them to the Doc and the Tech so they could pat me on the back for stepping into the 21’st century. Nope!! Not happening in my house, even if I had the Super Cray.

To make this go faster, I already forgot what “CAROOOLLL”. Damn I hate when this happens.

Note: Due to natural and manmade disasters, Chapters 19 – 21 have just been created.  I’ll finish this file raw or otherwise next month. 

Dave   

Up ] [ Dave's World - Part I ] Dave's World - Part II ] Dave's World - Part III ] Dave's World - Part IV ] Dave's World - Part V ] Dave's World - Part VI ] Dave's World - Part VII ]

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